MATTERS ARISING With Princess ‘Deun
Ladies, many a times we need to ask ourselves this very pertinent question, and answer we must…truthfully! Which category do we really fall into, Lady or a Babe? Don’t get me wrong, it is pretty common to be one or the other, but quite frankly we can’t be both, though sometimes there are some similarities. Being a Lady or a Babe has nothing to do with being young, mature, married or unattached. There are really no grey areas; you are either one or the other. So girlfriends, which do you have? Babe or Lady Factor?
You could be married and be a Babe. I for one am married and see myself as a Babe! Before getting married some many years ago, I had already grown into a Babe, though I know my mum (bless her!) would have loved this Princess to be more of a Lady! You see to be a Babe, you must possess lots of gusto or shall we say get up and go! As a Babe you don’t wait for a man to fix your flat or pick up your tab, not because you are trying to prove anything but simply because you have no qualms about doing those things yourself. My husband’s initial attraction to me was the Babe Factor! On the other hand a close relative, who was similarly raised as me, is now married but very much a Lady! Ha! How about that…she more or less allows her hubby to run things and demurely contributes her opinions from time to time…I do not remember her fixing her tyres, or hiring and firing their staff. If her man is not around, she would with a wave of the hand, send for a mechanic immediately! She has always been like this even from her days of being a singleton and that’s apparently how she pulled her hubby. Some men can’t help falling for a woman who doesn’t want to share the trousers with them! Mind you, men find both types of women attractive and adorable. I guess all women, Babes and Ladies alike, are a real challenge to any real man!
We do have unattached ladies who have the Lady factor in every sense of the word! They just sit back and allow their men to display acts of chivalry around them. They don’t see why they should deface their well manicured hands when the chore or task can be carried out by someone else (hey don’t get me wrong we Babes have manicures too!) In a way, I kind of admire women with the ‘Lady Factor’ this Princess just happens to be more of a ‘Babe’! Her Majesty, The Queen you’ll all agree is the very epitome of one with the ‘Lady Factor’ she has most things done for her. Aside from when she is horse riding, do you remember ever seeing the Queen in trousers? Me thinks not! In the days of yore, a Lady was never seen wearing trousers, it was not ladylike! But guess what? I believe some ‘Babes’ came to town and put paid to that ancient idea! As we can see, things have changed with the times and women can adorn trousers if they so wish!
What about women who are single yet have got the ‘Babe Factor’? Well they are usually on the cool tip…adventurous but with their heads on the right way! As a single Babe you can arrive at an event with or without a date…not something I think a Lady would feel comfortable doing, but you know what? It’s ok. One thing for sure is that as a woman you have to be at ease with yourself, whichever side of the coin you are at. Men fall in love with all women, the Lady and the Babe alike; both have the capabilities to dish out oodles of tasks for the men folk in good measure!
By and large there are sometimes overlaps in being a Babe and being a Lady, yes we do have some similarities. These can be put down as common factors with women in general. But you can know distinctively who is a Lady and who is a Babe…may I say, it’s all in the scent of being a woman! I spoke to a cross section of women to find out what they thought the different traits of a Lady & a Babe should be…this is information gathered from women aged between 25 – 65 who are of multicultural backgrounds. I have tried to put the feedback into ten bullet points each. Do go through and let us have your thoughts too. As we know there are really no hard fast rules in life…there might be something that was missed out?
10 Expected Traits of having The ‘Lady’ Factor
• A Lady is what your Dad & Mum groomed you to be and fingers crossed hoped you’ll eventually grow into
• A Lady is usually soft spoken…yet firm
• A Lady never opens doors herself if a man is around
• A Lady keeps her decorum even when feeling quite miffed
• A Lady does not talk with her mouth full
• A Lady walks with an air of dignity
• A Lady does not attend a function or event unaccompanied
• A Lady may show her vulnerability
• A Lady never asks a guy out, it’s not the done thing!
• A Lady does not juggle roles, rather she’ll delegate
10 Expected Traits of having The ‘Babe’ factor
• A Babe is what you evolve into as you grow up and discover who you are
• A Babe usually has a strong yet diplomatic voice
• A Babe usually opens her own doors…it’s ok
• A Babe usually says what’s on her mind, but in a nice way
• A Babe is able to discuss business over a meal if need be
• A Babe usually struts her stuff, but in a classy way
• A Babe attends functions or events, with or without an escort
• A Babe usually has her guards up, just in case…
• A Babe may ask a guy out, if he is man enough
• A Babe usually becomes master at juggling roles and can delegate too
Now sisters, which one have you got…the Lady or Babe Factor? Do I hear you whisper both? Could it be that in the 21st century the two have become so similar with just a very thin line of divide? As a woman with the Babe Factor there are some Lady traits in this Princess. Likewise as a woman with the Lady factor, I’m sure you will have your Babe Factor streaks in you too! I believe in the advent of women wanting to re-invent themselves, it provides the room to mix ‘n’ match and thus makes for a good balance. Lady or Babe Factor, whichever one you’ve got, make sure you don’t lose the essence of who you are, keeping who you are intact all the way!
It is said that when God made the female gender, He made us to be soft as rose petals yet strong as diamonds… with all other data in place, He finished and smiled…The Almighty had created WOMAN, His Masterpiece!
I wait for responses, rejoinders et al on this discourse…Meanwhile till another time, let’s continue to ARIZE!
-Princess ‘Deun Adedoyin-Solarin, October 2004
Sunday 22 November 2009
Monday 9 November 2009
Love Is a Mountain - UK Media Launch, Mon 30th Nov
HERE IS YOUR SPECIAL INVITATION TO AN ENCHANTING AUDIENCE
WITH MOZELLA!...WRITER, POET, MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER
AND AUTHOR OF THE NEW BOOK & CD "LOVE IS A MOUNTAIN"...
HERE IS YOUR SPECIAL INVITATION TO AN ENCHANTING AUDIENCE
WITH MOZELLA!...WRITER, POET, MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER
AND AUTHOR OF THE NEW BOOK & CD "LOVE IS A MOUNTAIN"...
Love is a Mountain...
Poetry and Prose
When last did you spend an evening enjoying poetry, music and upliftment?
Last year? 1999? Yesterday? Whenever it was - Great!!!
Join us for a really special evening of entertainment, poetry & prose, warm atmosphere and great company with Mozella Perry Ademiluyi on Monday 30 November 2009
Mozella is a respected African-American poet , adventurer, philanthropist, creative writer, motivational speaker, lawyer and well-being advocate, who offers a poetic life-affirming perspective to individuals on a path of self-discovery and transformation.
Mozella will be having the UK/European media launch of her new book and CD "Love is a Mountain" You will be opportuned to embrace and appreciate her love of Africa, her love of our home planet, but most importantly her love of life as you join us!
Date: Monday, 30th November 2009
Venue: The Regent's Park Marriott Hotel,
128 King Henry's Road
London NW3 3ST
(nearest tube station - Swiss Cottage - Jubilee Line)
Time: 6.30 -8:30pm.
Though attendance is free; to receive full event information and to help us with catering, kindly confirm your attendance via email to info@loveisamountain.com and copy Princess@zedakahafrika.com & Buroaj@blueyonder.co.uk so we can put your name on the Guest list and look out for you on the day.
For more info on Mozella do visit her website www.loveisamountain.com
Here is looking forward to welcoming you on Monday 30th November.
Kindly share this with other folk of likeminds...Thank you!
Warm Regards
-Princess 'Deun
Princess 'Deun Adedoyin-Solarin - Operational Director, Communications & Media Global Wome Inventors & Innovators Network -GWIIN
Member ToastMasters International
Intellectual Property Specialist|Broadcaster|Media Consultant
Creator & Owner - The arize!TM Brand Name
"We must embrace Faith, Courage & Dilligence...as we arize! to become Agents of Change!"
Stress-Less Functions:We Take The Stress Out of your Events!
ZEDAKAH Entertainment UK | arize!TM Media Productions
Mob: +44 779 975 3706; +44 7737 204 694
Email: Princess@zedakahafrika.com; Zedakah2000@yahoo.com
Websites: www.zedakahafrika.com; http://www.bentelevision.com/viewArticle.php?id=5;
www.gwiin.com; www.myspace.com/remoprincess; www.openmydoor.com/princessofarize
WITH MOZELLA!...WRITER, POET, MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER
AND AUTHOR OF THE NEW BOOK & CD "LOVE IS A MOUNTAIN"...
HERE IS YOUR SPECIAL INVITATION TO AN ENCHANTING AUDIENCE
WITH MOZELLA!...WRITER, POET, MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER
AND AUTHOR OF THE NEW BOOK & CD "LOVE IS A MOUNTAIN"...
Love is a Mountain...
Poetry and Prose
When last did you spend an evening enjoying poetry, music and upliftment?
Last year? 1999? Yesterday? Whenever it was - Great!!!
Join us for a really special evening of entertainment, poetry & prose, warm atmosphere and great company with Mozella Perry Ademiluyi on Monday 30 November 2009
Mozella is a respected African-American poet , adventurer, philanthropist, creative writer, motivational speaker, lawyer and well-being advocate, who offers a poetic life-affirming perspective to individuals on a path of self-discovery and transformation.
Mozella will be having the UK/European media launch of her new book and CD "Love is a Mountain" You will be opportuned to embrace and appreciate her love of Africa, her love of our home planet, but most importantly her love of life as you join us!
Date: Monday, 30th November 2009
Venue: The Regent's Park Marriott Hotel,
128 King Henry's Road
London NW3 3ST
(nearest tube station - Swiss Cottage - Jubilee Line)
Time: 6.30 -8:30pm.
Though attendance is free; to receive full event information and to help us with catering, kindly confirm your attendance via email to info@loveisamountain.com and copy Princess@zedakahafrika.com & Buroaj@blueyonder.co.uk so we can put your name on the Guest list and look out for you on the day.
For more info on Mozella do visit her website www.loveisamountain.com
Here is looking forward to welcoming you on Monday 30th November.
Kindly share this with other folk of likeminds...Thank you!
Warm Regards
-Princess 'Deun
Princess 'Deun Adedoyin-Solarin - Operational Director, Communications & Media Global Wome Inventors & Innovators Network -GWIIN
Member ToastMasters International
Intellectual Property Specialist|Broadcaster|Media Consultant
Creator & Owner - The arize!TM Brand Name
"We must embrace Faith, Courage & Dilligence...as we arize! to become Agents of Change!"
Stress-Less Functions:We Take The Stress Out of your Events!
ZEDAKAH Entertainment UK | arize!TM Media Productions
Mob: +44 779 975 3706; +44 7737 204 694
Email: Princess@zedakahafrika.com; Zedakah2000@yahoo.com
Websites: www.zedakahafrika.com; http://www.bentelevision.com/viewArticle.php?id=5;
www.gwiin.com; www.myspace.com/remoprincess; www.openmydoor.com/princessofarize
Wednesday 4 November 2009
Dare To Love Again!
Matters Arising with Princess ‘Deun
DARE TO LOVE AGAIN!…
Would you believe in the miracle of finding love after a bitter divorce, a tragic untimely death of a spouse or maybe the painful break-up of a once-upon-a-time good relationship? For me the answer is a definite Yes! But hey I’m a helpless romantic; I believe nothing is over till life itself is over! The fact that you suddenly find yourself in a bit of a haze after any of the above situations, is no reason for eternal damnation to being alone forever!
Be it divorce, widowhood or being an unmarried mother, the aftershock is never pleasant or easy to deal with. You see, suddenly the affected woman becomes a societal pariah! Like she has done something wrong? When 90% of the time you don’t have any control over these happening-stances. You suddenly find that your circle of friends has shrunk somewhat, at times even so called ‘close’ family members see you as more of a burden. To add salt to injury, out there are some not so nice men, ready pick on your bones like vultures! There are a couple of stages which a woman caught in any of these scenarios goes through. Let’s take a look at them step by step…
ACCEPTANCE STAGE…
First is the acceptance stage…The questions arise, is it possible to find love and to love again after a very bitter divorce? Can you still find space in your heart to accommodate another man after such a bad experience with your ex? Will you ever get over the loss of your late husband, whom you shared a wonderful life with? Will any man fill the vacuum his death left in your heart, not to mention the hole the in-laws burnt in your pocket after the funeral? Is it possible for you to give another man a chance after being abandoned by a previous one, who got you pregnant years ago? Do you feel you can trust any man enough to let down your guards one more time? Are you able to throw caution to the wind and give yourself another chance? Me thinks you need to do an assessment or ‘MOT’ on yourself, to ascertain if maybe, somewhere along the way you had some faults too! You then have to accept the results of your personal ‘MOT’…make adjustments and map out the things you need to take on board, for a hopefully fruitful future ahead…Have you arrived at the future yet? Well done, you have now reached the acceptance stage!
FORGIVING STAGE…
Next is the ability to take your first baby steps, it’s like learning to walk all over again. I am of the opinion that love is the very essence of life, without it we shrivel and die! Not the six feet under kind of death, no! I’m talking about the alive-yet-not-living kind of death, you know, the zombie like state. There’s the need to be loved and to love in return. Without sounding cliché, it is a truth universally acknowledged that Love does make the world go round. It’s that special ingredient that keeps us alive within! So I ask that we make a decision to forgive ourselves and any erring ex-partner, let go of any past hurt, disappointment or grief…as the saying goes ‘to err is human but to forgive is divine’.
LETTING GO STAGE…
When we forgive those who have wronged us, it does not mean we will forget as that might be fool hardy! But if we don’t forgive, we will be trapped in a timeless prison where anger and bitterness play the roles of jail bird & warden! And whilst one’s emotions and feelings are still locked up in jail…Hello! whither ones freedom? Also we’ll all agree that the grief one goes through at the passage of a loved one, cannot be wished away by the wave of a hand. We must give room for the tears to flow…that in itself is known to be very therapeutic. In as much as we don’t allow it to lure us into the deep bowels of depression! May I propose that we should learn to let go of pain and let love reign? Even if it’s to start by loving yourself. The freer one’s mind is, the easier it is for one’s heart to love again. Once you get this far and are able to put one wobbly footstep in front of the other, you have reached the moving on stage!
HEALING & MOVING ON STAGE…
We will not go into the numerous things women harbour as their excuses to not give love another chance. Whatever they are, it is best to leave them in the past where they rightly belong, rather than hauling them as excess baggage into a future that has done us no wrong! Women are bound to meet other men along the way, but how prepared are they to let go of all the baggage of the past and embrace the bliss that the future holds? There is a healing period for any of the above circumstances, each time frame different from the other, depending on the individual…and this needs to be respected by all and sundry. For the divorced woman hoping for another chance, I would say with encouragement…It’s your ex’s loss! So start to see yourself as the ultimate for any man and prove that you are, this is your chance! To the widow longing to love again, I would say with empathy…your late loved one in a sense has moved on, after a descent period of mourning, isn’t it time for you to move on too? I bet he would want you to do just that! And to the single mum seeking for true love, I would say with assurance…This is your time to lower your guards, your moment to show yourself and your next suitor that you are the best thing after sliced bread!
DATING CHEMISTRY…
There are few things to look out for and take note of when preparing to re-open one’s heart for the love experience. Dr. John Gray in his book ‘Mars and Venus on a Date’ says, "There are basically four areas of chemistry between dating partners: Physical, emotional, mental and spiritual
• Physical chemistry: Generates desire
• Emotional chemistry: Generates affection
• Mental chemistry: Creates interest
• Spiritual chemistry: Creates love
Physical Chemistry to my understanding is that initial attraction that transmits sparks when a man and woman have their very first eye contact. This is something you can’t miss; your entire body feels it!
Emotional Chemistry is what gradually develops between the two of you; it’s a longing to always be with that person and wanting to know that all is well with them even when you are apart.
Mental Chemistry is when you start discovering that you like doing the same things, that you are intellectually compatible and drawn towards the same interests; call it like-minds or being on the same wave length.
Finally we have Spiritual Chemistry which is all encompassing; it’s that element that puts the cherry on the cake as you both discover you share the same beliefs and moral ethos. There is a one-ness of both minds and a twining of spirits, thus confirming that love is definitely in the air.
But aha! A soul mate…is a combination of all four! As you brace yourselves to re-launch into the love zone again, remember to embrace some of Dr. Gray’s tips and some of my own humble submissions too. Take on board a couple if not all four ‘chemical’ potions… note that the blend of Physical, Emotional, Mental & Spiritual Chemistry is the perfect combination to be found in a true Soul Mate!
This is probably one of the best analysis I have come across whilst broaching on the subject of finding love again and how it can affect our very beings. And if you are not divorced, widowed or single, with kids, but know someone who is…then some nicely arranged match making would definitely help too. Helping people find love happens to be one of my favourite things and you know what? I have had some wonderful success stories! Don’t you like it when God’s plans come together, just as He originally intended!
Meanwhile, may I dare you to love again…till next time on Matters Arising...Let's all continue to ARIZE! and make a Difference!
©Princess ‘Deun Adedoyin-Solarin, UK 2009
DARE TO LOVE AGAIN!…
Would you believe in the miracle of finding love after a bitter divorce, a tragic untimely death of a spouse or maybe the painful break-up of a once-upon-a-time good relationship? For me the answer is a definite Yes! But hey I’m a helpless romantic; I believe nothing is over till life itself is over! The fact that you suddenly find yourself in a bit of a haze after any of the above situations, is no reason for eternal damnation to being alone forever!
Be it divorce, widowhood or being an unmarried mother, the aftershock is never pleasant or easy to deal with. You see, suddenly the affected woman becomes a societal pariah! Like she has done something wrong? When 90% of the time you don’t have any control over these happening-stances. You suddenly find that your circle of friends has shrunk somewhat, at times even so called ‘close’ family members see you as more of a burden. To add salt to injury, out there are some not so nice men, ready pick on your bones like vultures! There are a couple of stages which a woman caught in any of these scenarios goes through. Let’s take a look at them step by step…
ACCEPTANCE STAGE…
First is the acceptance stage…The questions arise, is it possible to find love and to love again after a very bitter divorce? Can you still find space in your heart to accommodate another man after such a bad experience with your ex? Will you ever get over the loss of your late husband, whom you shared a wonderful life with? Will any man fill the vacuum his death left in your heart, not to mention the hole the in-laws burnt in your pocket after the funeral? Is it possible for you to give another man a chance after being abandoned by a previous one, who got you pregnant years ago? Do you feel you can trust any man enough to let down your guards one more time? Are you able to throw caution to the wind and give yourself another chance? Me thinks you need to do an assessment or ‘MOT’ on yourself, to ascertain if maybe, somewhere along the way you had some faults too! You then have to accept the results of your personal ‘MOT’…make adjustments and map out the things you need to take on board, for a hopefully fruitful future ahead…Have you arrived at the future yet? Well done, you have now reached the acceptance stage!
FORGIVING STAGE…
Next is the ability to take your first baby steps, it’s like learning to walk all over again. I am of the opinion that love is the very essence of life, without it we shrivel and die! Not the six feet under kind of death, no! I’m talking about the alive-yet-not-living kind of death, you know, the zombie like state. There’s the need to be loved and to love in return. Without sounding cliché, it is a truth universally acknowledged that Love does make the world go round. It’s that special ingredient that keeps us alive within! So I ask that we make a decision to forgive ourselves and any erring ex-partner, let go of any past hurt, disappointment or grief…as the saying goes ‘to err is human but to forgive is divine’.
LETTING GO STAGE…
When we forgive those who have wronged us, it does not mean we will forget as that might be fool hardy! But if we don’t forgive, we will be trapped in a timeless prison where anger and bitterness play the roles of jail bird & warden! And whilst one’s emotions and feelings are still locked up in jail…Hello! whither ones freedom? Also we’ll all agree that the grief one goes through at the passage of a loved one, cannot be wished away by the wave of a hand. We must give room for the tears to flow…that in itself is known to be very therapeutic. In as much as we don’t allow it to lure us into the deep bowels of depression! May I propose that we should learn to let go of pain and let love reign? Even if it’s to start by loving yourself. The freer one’s mind is, the easier it is for one’s heart to love again. Once you get this far and are able to put one wobbly footstep in front of the other, you have reached the moving on stage!
HEALING & MOVING ON STAGE…
We will not go into the numerous things women harbour as their excuses to not give love another chance. Whatever they are, it is best to leave them in the past where they rightly belong, rather than hauling them as excess baggage into a future that has done us no wrong! Women are bound to meet other men along the way, but how prepared are they to let go of all the baggage of the past and embrace the bliss that the future holds? There is a healing period for any of the above circumstances, each time frame different from the other, depending on the individual…and this needs to be respected by all and sundry. For the divorced woman hoping for another chance, I would say with encouragement…It’s your ex’s loss! So start to see yourself as the ultimate for any man and prove that you are, this is your chance! To the widow longing to love again, I would say with empathy…your late loved one in a sense has moved on, after a descent period of mourning, isn’t it time for you to move on too? I bet he would want you to do just that! And to the single mum seeking for true love, I would say with assurance…This is your time to lower your guards, your moment to show yourself and your next suitor that you are the best thing after sliced bread!
DATING CHEMISTRY…
There are few things to look out for and take note of when preparing to re-open one’s heart for the love experience. Dr. John Gray in his book ‘Mars and Venus on a Date’ says, "There are basically four areas of chemistry between dating partners: Physical, emotional, mental and spiritual
• Physical chemistry: Generates desire
• Emotional chemistry: Generates affection
• Mental chemistry: Creates interest
• Spiritual chemistry: Creates love
Physical Chemistry to my understanding is that initial attraction that transmits sparks when a man and woman have their very first eye contact. This is something you can’t miss; your entire body feels it!
Emotional Chemistry is what gradually develops between the two of you; it’s a longing to always be with that person and wanting to know that all is well with them even when you are apart.
Mental Chemistry is when you start discovering that you like doing the same things, that you are intellectually compatible and drawn towards the same interests; call it like-minds or being on the same wave length.
Finally we have Spiritual Chemistry which is all encompassing; it’s that element that puts the cherry on the cake as you both discover you share the same beliefs and moral ethos. There is a one-ness of both minds and a twining of spirits, thus confirming that love is definitely in the air.
But aha! A soul mate…is a combination of all four! As you brace yourselves to re-launch into the love zone again, remember to embrace some of Dr. Gray’s tips and some of my own humble submissions too. Take on board a couple if not all four ‘chemical’ potions… note that the blend of Physical, Emotional, Mental & Spiritual Chemistry is the perfect combination to be found in a true Soul Mate!
This is probably one of the best analysis I have come across whilst broaching on the subject of finding love again and how it can affect our very beings. And if you are not divorced, widowed or single, with kids, but know someone who is…then some nicely arranged match making would definitely help too. Helping people find love happens to be one of my favourite things and you know what? I have had some wonderful success stories! Don’t you like it when God’s plans come together, just as He originally intended!
Meanwhile, may I dare you to love again…till next time on Matters Arising...Let's all continue to ARIZE! and make a Difference!
©Princess ‘Deun Adedoyin-Solarin, UK 2009
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