‘A BABE’ OR ‘A LADY’…WHICH ARE YOU?

MATTERS ARISING With Princess ‘Deun

Ladies, many a times we need to ask ourselves this very pertinent question, and answer we must…truthfully! Which category do we really fall into, Lady or a Babe? Don’t get me wrong, it is pretty common to be one or the other, but quite frankly we can’t be both, though sometimes there are some similarities. Being a Lady or a Babe has nothing to do with being young, mature, married or unattached. There are really no grey areas; you are either one or the other. So girlfriends, which do you have? Babe or Lady Factor?

You could be married and be a Babe. I for one am married and see myself as a Babe! Before getting married some many years ago, I had already grown into a Babe, though I know my mum (bless her!) would have loved this Princess to be more of a Lady! You see to be a Babe, you must possess lots of gusto or shall we say get up and go! As a Babe you don’t wait for a man to fix your flat or pick up your tab, not because you are trying to prove anything but simply because you have no qualms about doing those things yourself. My husband’s initial attraction to me was the Babe Factor! On the other hand a close relative, who was similarly raised as me, is now married but very much a Lady! Ha! How about that…she more or less allows her hubby to run things and demurely contributes her opinions from time to time…I do not remember her fixing her tyres, or hiring and firing their staff. If her man is not around, she would with a wave of the hand, send for a mechanic immediately! She has always been like this even from her days of being a singleton and that’s apparently how she pulled her hubby. Some men can’t help falling for a woman who doesn’t want to share the trousers with them! Mind you, men find both types of women attractive and adorable. I guess all women, Babes and Ladies alike, are a real challenge to any real man!

We do have unattached ladies who have the Lady factor in every sense of the word! They just sit back and allow their men to display acts of chivalry around them. They don’t see why they should deface their well manicured hands when the chore or task can be carried out by someone else (hey don’t get me wrong we Babes have manicures too!) In a way, I kind of admire women with the ‘Lady Factor’ this Princess just happens to be more of a ‘Babe’! Her Majesty, The Queen you’ll all agree is the very epitome of one with the ‘Lady Factor’ she has most things done for her. Aside from when she is horse riding, do you remember ever seeing the Queen in trousers? Me thinks not! In the days of yore, a Lady was never seen wearing trousers, it was not ladylike! But guess what? I believe some ‘Babes’ came to town and put paid to that ancient idea! As we can see, things have changed with the times and women can adorn trousers if they so wish!

What about women who are single yet have got the ‘Babe Factor’? Well they are usually on the cool tip…adventurous but with their heads on the right way! As a single Babe you can arrive at an event with or without a date…not something I think a Lady would feel comfortable doing, but you know what? It’s ok. One thing for sure is that as a woman you have to be at ease with yourself, whichever side of the coin you are at. Men fall in love with all women, the Lady and the Babe alike; both have the capabilities to dish out oodles of tasks for the men folk in good measure!

By and large there are sometimes overlaps in being a Babe and being a Lady, yes we do have some similarities. These can be put down as common factors with women in general. But you can know distinctively who is a Lady and who is a Babe…may I say, it’s all in the scent of being a woman! I spoke to a cross section of women to find out what they thought the different traits of a Lady & a Babe should be…this is information gathered from women aged between 25 – 65 who are of multicultural backgrounds. I have tried to put the feedback into ten bullet points each. Do go through and let us have your thoughts too. As we know there are really no hard fast rules in life…there might be something that was missed out?

10 Expected Traits of having The ‘Lady’ Factor
• A Lady is what your Dad & Mum groomed you to be and fingers crossed hoped you’ll eventually grow into
• A Lady is usually soft spoken…yet firm
• A Lady never opens doors herself if a man is around
• A Lady keeps her decorum even when feeling quite miffed
• A Lady does not talk with her mouth full
• A Lady walks with an air of dignity
• A Lady does not attend a function or event unaccompanied
• A Lady may show her vulnerability
• A Lady never asks a guy out, it’s not the done thing!
• A Lady does not juggle roles, rather she’ll delegate

10 Expected Traits of having The ‘Babe’ factor
• A Babe is what you evolve into as you grow up and discover who you are
• A Babe usually has a strong yet diplomatic voice
• A Babe usually opens her own doors…it’s ok
• A Babe usually says what’s on her mind, but in a nice way
• A Babe is able to discuss business over a meal if need be
• A Babe usually struts her stuff, but in a classy way
• A Babe attends functions or events, with or without an escort
• A Babe usually has her guards up, just in case…
• A Babe may ask a guy out, if he is man enough
• A Babe usually becomes master at juggling roles and can delegate too

Now sisters, which one have you got…the Lady or Babe Factor? Do I hear you whisper both? Could it be that in the 21st century the two have become so similar with just a very thin line of divide? As a woman with the Babe Factor there are some Lady traits in this Princess. Likewise as a woman with the Lady factor, I’m sure you will have your Babe Factor streaks in you too! I believe in the advent of women wanting to re-invent themselves, it provides the room to mix ‘n’ match and thus makes for a good balance. Lady or Babe Factor, whichever one you’ve got, make sure you don’t lose the essence of who you are, keeping who you are intact all the way!



It is said that when God made the female gender, He made us to be soft as rose petals yet strong as diamonds… with all other data in place, He finished and smiled…The Almighty had created WOMAN, His Masterpiece!

I wait for responses, rejoinders et al on this discourse…Meanwhile till another time, let’s continue to ARIZE!

-Princess ‘Deun Adedoyin-Solarin, October 2004